What Is Grief?

Grief is defined as feelings of deep sorrow, especially those caused by the loss of a loved one. There are different kinds of grief, including acute, integrated, and prolonged grief.

• Acute grief is the most common form of grief and occurs up to 6–12 months after loss.^1,2
• Integrated grief is a lasting form of grief that has a place in the person’s life without dominating it or overly influencing the person’s thoughts, feelings, or behavior.
• Prolonged grief occurs when something interferes with a grieving person’s ability to adapt to life after loss, including their daily living activities.^3,4 Prolonged grief occurs when acute grief persists past that initial 12-month window and may carry on for years.⁵ Approximately 7%–10% of individuals will develop prolonged grief disorder.⁶

Because grief is highly individual, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve, there are no specific signs and symptoms that necessarily indicate a person is struggling with their grief. However, there are certain thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are common in grief that can provide respite after loss but are not effective in the long run. These can affect the process of adapting to loss and ultimately healing.⁷ Some of the common "stuck points" to look out for are:

• Disbelief or protesting the notion that the deceased is gone
• Imagining alternative scenarios
• Caregiver self-blame or anger
• Judging grief
• Experiencing survivor guilt
• Avoiding grief triggers
• Feeling unable to move forward
• Having an inability to connect with others

How Grief Affects Employees and Employers

Grief is a natural and normal process in response to loss, but for many people, the process can have adverse effects on their health, emotional well-being, and daily living—especially when the grief becomes prolonged.

Physical Effects

Examples of physical symptoms associated with grief, especially prolonged grief, include:^8,9,10

• Disrupted sleep
• Changes in appetite
• Physical changes associated with increased stress, such as an increase in blood pressure and elevations in inflammatory markers in the immune system
• An increased risk of cardiovascular events
• An increased risk of stroke
• An increased risk of diabetes

Psychiatric and Functional Effects

It is common for people experiencing grief to have chronic stress, which can lead to a variety of mental health complications, including sadness, anxiety, panic attacks, and more.^11,12 For some individuals, the effects of grief can be severe. Prolonged grief often occurs along with other mental health conditions, such as post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorders, and depression.¹³

With acute grief, individuals balance the pain with periods of respite, allowing themselves to set their grief aside for a time, whereas people experiencing prolonged grief struggle to do the same. They may go to great lengths to avoid reminders of the loss and escape reality. Regular activities such as adequate sleep, exercise, nourishing meals, and social contacts may be disrupted, making it harder to manage emotions and mental and physical health.¹⁴

It is not unusual for people who are grieving to have thoughts of wanting to reunite with their loved one. However, suicide is not a common consequence of grief, even when prolonged. That said, people who are grieving a loved one who died by suicide have shown to be at higher risk of having thoughts of suicide themselves compared with people grieving a loved who died by natural causes.¹⁵ Additionally, research on people who report feeling loneliness after the sudden death of a loved one has shown a small but significant increase in their risk of suicide.¹⁶

Work-Related Effects

Grief can affect all aspects of a person’s life, so it’s no surprise that a grieving individual might struggle to resume their occupation following the loss of a loved one.

Consider the following examples of how employee grief can negatively affect occupational outcomes:

• Presenteeism — In a survey of 131 organizations, 11 percent reported noticing a bereaved worker having problems with productivity at work following their loss. These included being distressed, distracted, and irritable and experiencing difficulty focusing at work.¹⁷
• Absenteeism — Workers who are grieving the loss of a child have a 10-fold higher risk of having more than 30 days of sick leave absences than workers who have not lost a child.¹⁸
• Lost productivity — The loss of productivity associated with grieving employees looms large and costs nearly $75 billion annually.¹⁹
• Cost to employers — Unsupported grief costs companies as much as $225.8 billion annually.²⁰

Tips for Employers: How You Can Help Employees with Grief

Grief is a universal experience that everyone can relate to. Oftentimes, though, employers struggle to find the words to say when addressing a grieving employee, which is why having an action plan for such circumstances is key. It can be hard to know what to say and what type of support the employee may need. Having policies and procedures in place can make the process of navigating grief at work more manageable for both the employee and the organization.

Consider the following strategies organizations can implement to help workers better manage their grief and feel supported in the workplace:^21,22

• Be adaptable when it comes to work schedules: Allow for flexibility in employees' schedules, such as additional paid time off (PTO), reduced hours, or flex scheduling. Even though grief can directly affect job performance, many companies still only offer 1–4 days off. One way to assist with this is to create PTO donation banks. Other employees may be more than willing to donate some of their unused vacation time to the grieving. Relatedly, discuss the potential for family medical leave for those who may be stepping into a new role as single parent or caregiver. This may also be a solution for those with prolonged grief disorder down the road.
• Don’t be afraid to show you care: Everyone at some point in their life will experience grief, and for most people, it is a painful process, even when short-lived. Directly expressing care and concern can help grieving individuals feel less alone. When speaking to a grieving employee, show empathy, acknowledge that grief is ongoing, offer a safe space to talk, and take cues from the griever (e.g., do not force them to discuss their loss if they do not want to). Companies can also show their support by establishing an Employee Assistance Fund to help grieving employees with expenses associated with the loss of their loved one (e.g., funeral costs).
• Offer outside assistance: If your organization has an Employee Assistance Program, educate employees about the full range of bereavement resources available, such as counseling, financial or legal advice, caregiver resources, childcare resources, and more.
• Know when to intervene: Grief is not a mental disorder. However, there are cases where the bereft may already be dealing with a mental health condition or develop one through the stress associated with grieving. Train managers and other leadership on how to recognize signs of potential mental health concerns, so they may be able to recognize when an employee may be experiencing something more than typical grief. Knowing how to notice the signs, talk to employees, and act by referring them to services and supports can make all the difference in supporting a grieving employee. Training with the Notice.Talk.Act.®at Work initiative can help employers feel better prepared to support their colleagues through hard times.
• Be patient and give workers the time they need: Remembering that the first year after a loss is the hardest can help companies better support their employees. It is during this time that grieving individuals will experience holidays, anniversaries, and other milestones without their loved ones. This is also the time that they are most at risk for developing related conditions brought on by stress. Supporting employees through this time in every way possible can make all the difference in their personal lives as well as their professional performance. For that small percentage of individuals who experience prolonged grief, have additional action items in place. They may need to take family medical leave long after their loss or may have to address other mental or physical health conditions that have developed during their period of grief. Being patient and supportive is the key to retaining good employees through hard times.

Resources

Employers can learn more about how to help employees with workplace stress through the resources below:

• The University of South Florida developed a manual to aid employers in helping grieving employees. It includes tips for communicating with workers experiencing grief and ideas for how organizations can show support.
• The Society for Human Resources Management offers guidance on how—and why—companies should support workers through their grief.
• The University of Alabama Human Resources (.pdf) developed a tipsheet with ideas to help employees grieving the loss of a coworker.
• Good Grief (.pdf), a non-profit in New Jersey, created a guidance document with 15 tips to help organizations be more responsive to and supportive of workers experiencing grief.